Thoughts of Sania

Staring at the screen all day long I know this isn't where I belong I look at old photos of us from time to time Being reckless in the stages of our prime Frolicking and laughing under the sun Truly thinking that with each other, we had won. My eyes are now always on a distant land Where she resides and I'm meant to be But how do I get there? That's unplanned Years ago, I meant to ask- "Take me with you when you go?" For I knew she was a rolling stone But it was too late she had already left. Discarding me as if I hadn't waited For her and for her upcoming quest. Dwindling down I cry for her to come back And not break our 'sister's forever' pact But once it all settled down inside, Heartbroken and miserable, I felt Knowing these feelings couldn't be helped Because my yearning to leave with her It was so emphasised, it was so strong And my stay in this place without her It felt so sullen and it felt so wrong.

My love is mine, all mine I wish I could let you know that too Because you seem to use it all the time. You crossed the lines I drew. All the precautions I insisted you have, Into the wind, you threw. All the boundaries I made, You disregarded them all, And I just watched them fade. After you're done with your torment, If I'll be able to pick up all my pieces, I'll join them together before I lament. After you're done with me, I'll never let my love be  Departed from me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't share it Even if I were to perish  I'd perish holding on to it. Because it's my love, all mine.

 What are you thinking? I ask you as  I lie beside you, clueless and insecure With your face under the moonlight looking so pure While we look up, stargazing, at the beach You smile and tilt your head towards me And all at once, all of my worries flee You didn't answer my question but I know From the look on your face and that glow. You were thinking about us, weren't you? Our near future of togetherness wherein You and I are blessed with worries so few Not because we are oblivious to the hereafter but  Because our good times are long due. I smile too, and you say I look beautiful Especially with the moonlight reflecting on my face,  And with that praise, I lock eyes with your tender gaze Which soothes me and puts my mind in a calm haze. I wish this day never ends, I pray to the shooting star That I almost missed as I was looking over to you And I know you saw that shooting star too and  You probably wished for the same thing too Even though you say you don't be...

 Maybe you were meant to always thrive... Not just survive, but actually live a life But, what if now, in the midst of all this gloom, Was the best moment of your life? You just didn't realise that it was Until all the other moments came crashing down Without even making a sound 'Life could be better than this' Or so you always thought. So you kept working for it But 'this' is what you got. Now, you're just looking back at life Feeling all distraught, because You failed to think that life could be worse Maybe you were meant to be happier Meant to live a life filled with delight But what if, right now, was the moment That you'd ever be the happiest in your life Because what if, right now, things are the best The best that they could've ever been And you just failed to live the moment   You're probably thinking If 'this' is the best, then I don't want it I'm sure there is better out there... I'll work hard to get those things that I...

When I pull back the curtains To unveil a nasty, worn-out door Instead of a pretty window with Sunlight infiltrating through the glass And seeping through the beautiful view Of pretty flowers and freshly mowed grass I don't expect to see still, what I know Is inside the rickety, run-down room Behind the nasty, worn-out door. It takes me in disbelief and surprise And I have to take a moment to reprise My previous role as a caretaker  I was here to clean up and straighten out The room that had never seen better days Diligently caging the omens of former times Desperately trying to help change the past As if it was a beloved, honourable  craft Even though there was no way it could last. As I entered the room, it began to shake  With memories of the past in its wake. I saw shadows of the man who had Followed me in the empty street As I heard nothing but the quick pace Of my tiny, tired childhood feet. I ran and ran until I couldn't anymore Away from the man and away from The ...

I want to write a story But the plot isn't that interesting With people arriving at the wrong times But never staying through tough times I want to write a story But the main character is too boring Enchanted by the outside but Not enough to leave the comfort of inside I want to write a story But the main character thinks too much With her thoughts twisting in her head Making up scenarios that bring her dread I want to write a story But the setting of it is drab and small With nothing to see in there  Just a few buildings standing tall  I want to write a story But I'm so uncertain about everything I don't know where to begin I also don't know how to begin I want to write a story But I can't differentiate the head from the tail And neither can I sit still because All I know is how to make excuses and wail I want to write a story on my life But I guess that's me and my  Thoughts that are too farfetched Because who would ever be interested in me? To read about my l...

I don't want to talk about myself. There won't be time left for that anyway Once we begin with the conversation About the various troubles you've faced. I want to know how your day was It defines my day after all Tell me about the problems that befall Whatever they are; big or small. I can clearly see through you I know when you are sad I sense it when you get mad All I hope is that I get through to you To impart my aged wisdom's gift Is this mature mind's only wish But for that, I need you to let me in And give me a little space within I'm here for you more than anybody else Who was there for me back then  And my aim is to make you free From all the clauses that were imposed on me  I can see how you want to solve The mysteries of this world unaided  I often hear you rage and say,  "Mother, please don't interfere" But darling, I am mother  And I can't help but fear That something might go horribly wrong Even though I know you are strong And you...