Thoughts of Sania

Hello fellow world inhabitants, I would like to start off by saying – in a world where I am privileged enough to be able to choose who I want to be, I've chosen to be a character unique to me. I am Sania Baig, and I aspire to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be – and not just today or tomorrow, every day. And what exactly is the best version of me, and in which sphere does it exist? - you might be wondering. Well, you are not alone. I've been wondering the same thing, and I intend to find out the answer someday with the passage of time as I gain wisdom. For now, I just intend to be kind, brave and curious - the three qualities that I admire most in other people. I hope to see you all standing as my witnesses as I overcome the struggles of the mundane and the extraordinary.

 Will you call out my name when I leave? Will it carry forward like a whisper in the breeze? Will tears shine in your eyes once the shock subsides? Will you wail or sob once you realise, That once again, you’ve been left behind. Cast aside and forgotten, like that hobby That you gave up on when you were twelve. I don’t mean for you to feel that way and I hope I don’t hurt you too much, When I go to perform my next big show. You were never meant to be a part of my crew, And our goodbye had been long overdue. I am a solo performer, not bound by your pack rules. I stay for a minute, then leave because my heart wants to. All for the sake of your feelings, I halted myself. But the halt couldn’t be stretched any longer For I had places to be and things to see. The newest horizons called my name And I really wished to step up my game But for your sake, I halted for a minute A minute that was too long and A minute that was too short, All at the same time, bound by everything sublime. This ...

There once was a little girl  Who was put to sleep, So that an end could be put To her fated misery. She never got to know once What had befallen her- Because she was taken away before The nightfall could come crawling to her. Despite all her fights, She had only ever seen daylight, Glistening drops of dew on petals With all things fresh, beautiful and bright. The dark was never allowed  To be anywhere near her Rose-colored-glass sheathed eyes Or wherever she put her sights. She was a soulful little girl, With a spirit wild and untamed. How she longed for the night, Even though that never came Because of how much  The twinkling stars were famed.

 A head full of thoughts, a notebook filled with ideas But a mouth full of silence with eyes on a distant land Devasted and inconsolably weeping inside Because I have to see all my prospects die As they suffocate with longing and slowly crumble to death I have so many schemes in mind for you and me I say to my newest idea that I received But now, all it gets to see is my back as I leave Wishing it left me and not the other way around Heartbroken as I  walk away and it falls to the ground I can't even rejoice in the fact that I have the power To make these ideas keep coming back to me  As I keep giving them hope of their release repeatedly For I know that the day they decide that enough is enough They shall desert me completely and life will be tough It's not that I don't want to speak up, it's just that I can't I lack the courage in my little heart, and I want to be included And not be called weird for believing and thinking different From all of those who have set ...

Curled in a fetal position at death's door There is nowhere else to go Nobody to whom she wants to show The depressed self that hates everyone and everything Hates all of the glamour of this world and the bling She said she hates it here, she feels trapped  But to everyone else, she is just entranced By what those voices make her do Even though what they say isn't necessarily true In her mind, she is brewing potions Of insecurities and false notions Everything fueled by what they say to her  Every feeling she has forgotten is now coming back And it is making her feel rotten She has already crossed the bridge  That most can't follow All that just so that she can wallow Without people telling her to be Grateful for all that she has been And to look forward to a better tomorrow Will she find peace here at last? She wonders  But then her mind begins to wander And that fallacy of peace is squandered The voices come in again and plead guilty As she is buried in the sand wi...

 My shaky hands try grabbing onto The gentle mummers of your voice As you pass me by like wind, I try holding on to every shred As if letting you go is a sin. If I possibly could, I'd hold on for eternity and I'd cherish your antics eternally. If forever really was a thing, We'd be woven together for good, Seeming everlastingly happy, To all those who looked. But now, all I can muster up are Despondent cries and anguished sighs. Because now that you're gone, I'm left to wonder what I'll see, If I were to stare into the mirror for too long. Will I see more of you than me? For every part of me is  Imprinted with the lies of  'Forever,' you once told me.