Thoughts of Sania

During my nights of terror I wept in solitude Waiting, hoping, praying For you to  come  rescue me From the  ghost,  I saw in the mirror My own reflection scared  me I was terrified of what I'd do If the world saw the  face  I see every day Because mirrors always show the truth Even if you want to disagree One can never disagree with their reflection All one can do is avoid it at all costs Hiding, concealing and suppressing Till one fools itself, saying it went away In order to  not cause more destruction But it always does cause destruction , doesn't it? Perhaps, it  is meant  to, Meant to destroy every bit of me and Leave no trace I ever existed Because, anyway, I never fit I never fit in this world of perfects The flawless, graceful and idyllic And maybe you knew that  too For never once did you come to rescue me Because I was full of defects.   

Don't wanna be in bed all day long. Wanna go out and have some fun Make new friends and chatter along The desire to be out, it's so strong. Being in bed, it ain't that fun I wanna go out in the sun Laugh for ages, make some daily wages And strive to please no one. There is so much I haven't done Being the best version of myself, Or simply falling for fun All because I'm always on the run. This burning angst won't leave me It's messing with my flow Nobody believes me when I say That I've tried to tell it to go. Exhaustion kicks in and I'm Too out of it to even lift a finger I try to shut it out But trepidation will always linger. So, back to the bed, it is for me Back to my restless reverie I'll dream of a better life there And pray for it to come true.