Thoughts of Sania

 A head full of thoughts, a notebook filled with ideas But a mouth full of silence with eyes on a distant land Devasted and inconsolably weeping inside Because I have to see all my prospects die As they suffocate with longing and slowly crumble to death I have so many schemes in mind for you and me I say to my newest idea that I received But now, all it gets to see is my back as I leave Wishing it left me and not the other way around Heartbroken as I  walk away and it falls to the ground I can't even rejoice in the fact that I have the power To make these ideas keep coming back to me  As I keep giving them hope of their release repeatedly For I know that the day they decide that enough is enough They shall desert me completely and life will be tough It's not that I don't want to speak up, it's just that I can't I lack the courage in my little heart, and I want to be included And not be called weird for believing and thinking different From all of those who have set ...

Curled in a fetal position at death's door There is nowhere else to go Nobody to whom she wants to show The depressed self that hates everyone and everything Hates all of the glamour of this world and the bling She said she hates it here, she feels trapped  But to everyone else, she is just entranced By what those voices make her do Even though what they say isn't necessarily true In her mind, she is brewing potions Of insecurities and false notions Everything fueled by what they say to her  Every feeling she has forgotten is now coming back And it is making her feel rotten She has already crossed the bridge  That most can't follow All that just so that she can wallow Without people telling her to be Grateful for all that she has been And to look forward to a better tomorrow Will she find peace here at last? She wonders  But then her mind begins to wander And that fallacy of peace is squandered The voices come in again and plead guilty As she is buried in the sand wi...

 My shaky hands try grabbing onto The gentle mummers of your voice As you pass me by like wind, I try holding on to every shred As if letting you go is a sin. If I possibly could, I'd hold on for eternity and I'd cherish your antics eternally. If forever really was a thing, We'd be woven together for good, Seeming everlastingly happy, To all those who looked. But now, all I can muster up are Despondent cries and anguished sighs. Because now that you're gone, I'm left to wonder what I'll see, If I were to stare into the mirror for too long. Will I see more of you than me? For every part of me is  Imprinted with the lies of  'Forever,' you once told me.