Thoughts of Sania

Why don't these flowers blossom Like the same way they did last spring When you made that daisy ring To put on my finger I wish for these flowers to regain that bloom And pull me away from my gloom I just want to encounter and perhaps ensnare The splendour of those flowers again I only want what you had Your magic touch to my daisy bush That made it bloom through your mystical ways Even in the worst weather and on the harshest days I wish for you to be here and near again So that you can look after me and my daisy bush And complete that beautiful daisy chain  That we started pointlessly and in vain. Thinking that we had all eternity To grow our family and fraternity.

I see the spring come I see the bloom Pretty flowers everywhere Like the kind I used to put in my hair But it is nothing I care about, furthermore I doubt there is anything I really care about anymore I see the blossoming life I see children's smiles Laughing like there is no tomorrow Living carefree, as if they've forgotten all sorrows It is nothing I desire, wish or want Because in the end, it's those memories that haunt. I see the radiant glow of the places I see the warmth in them Like an inviting dwelling, a pleasant home A place you go to when the wrong cards are shown But if I'm to stay, how long is too long? And even if I go in there, how will I belong? I've seen the winter come I've seen the spring go I guess I'll live a few seasons more Just to see how long till everyone goes It's as if I've been sad for so freaking long That I have to get used to being forlorn  Because nobody stays once the time is up Everybody chooses to just give up.

 Feels like I'm watching me from a distance Doing something I can't tolerate 'Something' sane me wouldn't even think of doing Being 'someone', sane me wouldn't dream of being I told myself I shouldn't go there  But this rebellious nature begged for  One last visit to the land of nowhere As if last time's pain wasn't too hard to bear Being here, I wish I never had come because Being here, I have nobody to blame but The stubborn nature of my core Which always got my heart sore I wish to go back to where I was But maybe I wasn't meant to be there  Maybe that pain wasn't meant to be beared Maybe it was meant to be shared By the desolate entity that silently traded my place.

I want the sun to shine kindly on me The same way it does on her. She got a beautiful tan on her brown skin Which shone almost as bright as her Beautiful brown eyes, always twinking with delight. But you can't really tell the sun what to do Or how to shine upon its people You can't tell the sun to shower you with  The same grace it showers on her. So I learned how to befriend the moonlit skies And learned how to stride the powerful highs. The stars shone upon me with mercy Leaving me to feel its gentle lustre with glory. I let the dark consume me whole Until nothing of me could be seen Always being careful to not get lost  In the haze of 'what could have been'. But nothing could stop me from wondering that If she were to leave the sunkissed side And wander upon the moonlit side of mine Would she be as stunning here as she is there? Because it seems to me that she's stunning everywhere  

  You so wanted to be a star once you departed Now, I want to be one too, just so we won't be parted I need not search much, I need not even try The brightest star in the night sky I know that it has to be you Because who could ever compete with you? I only wish you were here with me So we could look up and see  All the glamour shining on us And make a loud happy fuss Debating who did what to shine so bright Giving the night travellers so much light.

When we were out and about I felt no ache, everything was okay. In all the places that we roamed, We had gleeful smiles that stretched for miles With sunshine hitting in all the right places We breezed through and conquered all the mazes. Because you and I, we belonged together. Like the shore and the sea We'd clash when we come together If only you and I could stay together Like magnets do, finding their way to each other We'd have fun, racing into our forever. But what we had is lost and long gone. The memories in my head being the only sign That the storm had raged on and on Until it was on no more, and the winds had begone Tarnished houses with floundering roofs were left behind Until the reputation of stability had to be redefined. With the storm’s depart, the worst was gone And despite losing my heart, I was forced to move on Feeling I got robbed of everything I once wished for I had to build another home and find another reason to live for Because even though the storm i...

You see that I'm writing a lot these days You wonder what I'm writing about Neither have you asked me questions, Nor have  I given you the answers I write about if you saw me crying the other day Begging and pleading for the pain to go away I write about if you care enough, To come and ease the pain away  Of course, you care, you just don't know how to show it Of course, I know that, but I'm still hung up on the ways That you choose to love me instead of  The ways that I deserve to be loved I stare at the wall a lot these days too I wonder if you've noticed that as well Since you seem to notice everything But just not care enough to intervene I know why you don't intervene You don't want to have any part in my inevitable doom But maybe, I wouldn't be so doomed If only you were to intervene.